Caught Camwhore

PROLOGUE

Tita will spend the entire holyweek in her hometown,  up north of Luzon.  I didn’t recognize her when I first saw her, I don’t know if it’s my fault (whether my photographic memory failed me bigtime or my vision is not serving me right). Anyway, she didn’t recognize me either; it’s been years since the last time we see each other.

Tita had to made a whole day pit stop at our place; luckily I have an extra bed space, an opportunity to catch up with each other. Tita saw my collection of books ranges from Filipino Literature Classics (like Benjamin Pascual, Ricky Lee and Lualhati Bautista), rare infamous novels (Paul Zindel, Richard Adams) up to Specialty books.

She scanned the titles in my mini shelf, pulls them off when the title made her interested, scan the synopsis at the back cover then grin or smile or look blankly and return it in place.

I just let her grab some books  as I read the book hanging on my reading sched, “ I never loved your mind” by Paul Zindel.   She looked at me, praised my love in to books come to think, I’m a guy (she thoughts it’s rare, but I think it’s not), a graduate (some she knew never touched a book after they got their diploma) and lastly I’m in the , according to her, “gimikero” age.

Well, in defense, I answered, some of the authors are male, so why bother the reader’s gender, next, having a diploma doesn’t mean you have to stop imagine new worlds, explore new plots and linger crisp pages and lastly, reading a book is more productive than drinking in bars, dancing in loud music and stroll, why you bother to do that when you can read a book and invite a friend and have an intellectual masturbation (sorry for the term, let me rephrase that, having more conversations that relies in fruitful intellect)   One of my bad habits is reading against the light, having my book like 5 inches from my face. Well, I like to linger every page, letter by letter, seeing every detail of the plot, even the ink trails of the print.   Tita asked if my vision is still good. I gave her a no, and she left the room with a smile in her face.

——————————————

Two hours later Tita came back with an ophthalmologist,  She told me that the way I read books is a bad sign that I’m starting to lost my damn vision.

The specialist let  me undergo in some tests, like reading a chart in a distance, that chart with a big E in the top portion. Color blind tests and more.

After almost an hour, the specialist let me wear that weird looking glass with measurements in its eye rims. It’s time to scale my vision. They got 110/120 vision. Uneven, that explains my headaches and nausea.

My vision starts to blur last year, I think December.
Not sure, though, I started having vision troubles while I’m having my training for a new account, facing the computer almost over 12 hours of our day life.

Like the outstanding balance that not paid, my vision accumulated problems for over 2 months.   I’m having difficulty in reading digits of my clients’ various bank accounts.

I can’t sacrifice my health, a sudden realization that lead me in a sudden decision. I have to resign.

——————————————

My resignation letter cooked almost 2 weeks in the pot, planning can be easy but execution could be hard and aftermaths are inevitable.
But I have to….

——————————————

As I walk towards my team leader with my resignation paper in one hand, I took a glimpse of my teammates.

Snapshots of the last Christmas party shuttered at the back of my mind.
Well having a losing vision scares a lot, it makes me cringe when it taps my consciousness, I’m scared of living in the dark, hearing only voices, afraid of the conclusion that I might not trust anyone as I would to my remaining senses.

Scared that people around me might fool me and squeeze the being out of me, I might be a nutcracker like those in Hallway # 7.   Ten steps before our team leader.

Kath gave a “sad” smile,  she was  shocked by my decision…as planned,  she and almost the whole team, didn’t saw it coming.

——————————————

After clearing all my post and things, I bid them goodbye and got out of the building. Sad, yes, not because me leaving but sad with the fact that my memories with them is in blur in my memory and I blame my weak vision for that.


All I can do to save their faces from growing blur is to look at the misadventures and candid moments kinetographed with my mobile phone’s camera.

Almost two thousand photos help me not to forget those experiences, those faces, that favorite building, Ortigas and the slice of life that once got into my system.

Well goodbye for now, I’ll never forget your faces as long as these photos can be detected with my corneas and brainwaved to my sensory  nerves.

EPILOGUE

The specialist confirmed to me that I’ll be having my glasses 2 weeks from now, have to wait long because they’ll put my requested anti-radiation feature (just what I need as I work as a full time video editor and blogger,—( this benchmarked journal)).

Feeling lonely, got scared that I might not see my future wife if I don’t find her.  I wish my vision is still there, perfect and not blurry, good enough to see my wife’s face and how it lighten up by sunshine.

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One response

  1. Pingback: Caught Camwhore | health

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