CANNED THOUGHTS no.3 : The Gym Animals (which one are you?)
Photos from our Batangas Trip made me realized how odd my body structure is. Having a beer belly but jolted with normal sized arms, they should be fatty too, not the other way around. Me ex saw my pics and God, she won’t stop teasing me all day, pointing at my confidence to belt out my body in public… (good thing we broke up earlier hehehe, peace!)
Anyway, she dragged me to the nearest mall to inquire about gym enrollments, and it wasn’t easy!
Things you must consider were the package, “bring a buddy” feature, locker rooms, shower rooms, equipments, and a lot more.
We ended up enrolling to this gym (name withheld), our basis, number of customers.
This Gym is like a safari, full of Gym animals sweating out to achieve their dream bods (or in some case, to get the mobile number of those they dream of…heheheh)
Here are some Gym Animals we got a chance to caught inside the parameters of the sweat factory.:
The Gym Bunnies – They come in every effin’ day in lycra leotards. They hop around the gym from one machine to another without ever finishing a routine. Hop, hop hop!
The Gym Gorillaz – Bulky, hairy, and cast a huuuuge shadow behind ‘em. Their color ranges from deep red to Kiwi dark-brown shoe polish.
The Meerkats – They stretch their necks and stick their heads out whenever a gorgeous guy comes in.
The Hyenas – They chat, chuckle, laugh, chat some more and chat, chat, chat to eternity. If hunting rifles are allowed, I’ll take them down first.
The Parrots – Same as the Hyenas but wears fantabulously outrageous gym outfits made in China.
The Gym Crocs – Creatures who never leave a machine and stay there all day as if they own it. They will be the next ones to go after the Hyenas, I tell you.
The Wet Dogs – They always leave the machine wet for the next user. I don’t understand how they sweat so much! Argh!
The Guard Dogs – They bark and woof on the last 3 reps. There’s also a hybrid of this mixed with Gorillaz.
The Giraffes – Tall, gorgeous, painfully beautiful creatures who are so into themselves. Usually found on the machines closest to the mirror wall.
The Hippos – Unbelievably huge creatures but rarely visible. They are found under the bubbles of the Jacuzzi with their noses just above the water.
The Gila Monsters – Huge, ferocious lizards usually found in the sauna all day. They never leave!
The Skunk – They come to the gym oozing with irritating AXE cologne sprayed all over. These creatures DON’t understand! Get away from me! G E T A W A Y !
The Chicken – A creature with massive chest and throbbing arms complete with toothpick legs.
The Kapibara – Fat, amphibious rats usually found “basking” in the area between the shower and the locker room.
The Hamsters – Creatures running all day on the threadmill and go straight to the snack bar afterwards.
Any gym creatures you spotted lately?
Another idea on the side : whatchathink?! : what if all treadmills and other gym equipments are installed with chips or attached in to a turbine of an energy plant? can you imagine how many cities can be powered by combining all the kinetic energy generated by the gym buffs all over the PH?…think again….)
(ps: for the love of God, please dont make me post hubad pics..its for your own good haha)
Well that’s for now…
So Till then and Godspeed 😀